brain droppings 10.4.23

I think NZ is fairly unlikely to put in anti-drag or anti-trans laws.

I mean, I couldn't be myself in every city in Aotearoa, but the general sentiment is stigma rather than illegality.

As one of the media outlets pointed out, even Luxon is pro-trans.

Compared to the States, I'm only campaigning for one fairly minor law change.

All it takes is adding a handful of words to the Human Rights Act.

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bummer .. forgot to save the how I met chloe tape.

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My opinion: people like the new videos because of the old videos.

But I'm not doing it, Don. I'm serious - nothing can persuade me.

It's just not my idea of what to use my freedom on. I don't see a 'one for them, one for me' deal.

Tbh The Dakumentary is for them. And Shipwrecked is for me - yeah, and I included Chloe in it.

But it's not just her. Seriously, Eilish is probably a more direct influence. And I think the Plaything demonstrates my feelings for Eilish. -

Maybe the reason I like her the most of all my 'exes' is that it was a very intellectual relationship.

I mean, I desired Meesh more, but Eilish was far more fun to talk to.

Whereas Barbara - as I say, we've never talked about life face-to-face. I don't see her as a girlfriend: the budding relationship in the cycle was me and Lauren, but then I blew it.

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I think most of my girlfriends are smart, but Eilish I think is a bonafide genius. 😀

That South Park episode totally nails it lol.

As for Chloe, I think she's smart too, but that's brute strength intellect; Eilish is more science-y.

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I'm not apologising to Jake. I never desired him after I finished uni. See, I can admit the desire, but it was a passing fancy - hell, I had some frisson with Glen when we flatted. 🤣

That was him pushing me. He never treated me as well as any of his real girlfriends. I've been the practice girl for lots of guys, and he was still fucking girls after he was supposedly 'with' me. I interpret that conversation differently - I was saying he should have focused on the guitar rather than chasing girls .. that's was Jane's advice. While I focused then; now, I'm spending my late twenties chasing women.

Honestly, I had more feelings for Phillip. 😎

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No, I'm not doing it re: Tina. I don't want to, there's not 'have to', there is only I have the right to a fair negotiation. One that prioritises my needs (and not everyone else).

Why? because I've put my arse on the line for weed and I deserve a break.

Not a break in terms of acting for TV. No deal, No feature. No.

I will not do it. I will not. They will accept I've been inspired by Dakta: no live gigs until the laws change. 😀

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As I say, I never even touched Eilish, let alone sex.

So, regardless of her age, that's actually the appropriate way.

And she was totally fine with me as the bearded trannie. Which makes her way better than most.

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My strings are dead. I need to change them.

But I don't want to practice. I'm trying to deal with the business right now.

Stephen seems to be doing better, so maybe we can get our best stuff to Nga Taonga and NZ on Screen.

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Why wasn't I into Jake .. well, he's not that bright.

For a mate, that's fine, but for a lover... I'm quite fussy, and that takes brainy people. 🧠

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It's not a personality split, and this idea that my 'he' self is 'appropriate' is a total fiction.

I have never been considered appropriate or normal. I have usually been despised or ostracised, which gave me the free years to research my esoteric interests.

Man or woman, it's the same for me. Nobody trusts me implicitly.

Because I seem from outer space. That's what I share with Carmen. ❣