Why I won't perform in Wellington

No, it's not gender dysphoria that prevents me from enjoying performances. It's the threats, 'jokes' and other bullshit that you've applied to me since 2019. Sorry, but I don't think being told by a mayoral candidate to detransition - followed by being treated as a creep for having a crush on the partner of her chief of staff - is going to ever result in a live performance of the type that you would wish. Just when I was beginning to build a healthy sense of self in early 2023, you shat on me and made me spend two years under intense and possibly illegal scrutiny. VUW looks particularly bad. After three years of refusing to meet me, they can't honestly believe that I'm going to magically forgive them for their prominent role in this bullshit, not to mention that they're attempting to cash in on my experience of transphobia at the wānanga (as if they were better...). - If you weren't willing to offer me a reasonable fee for the Weeded Out script, then please stop offering me a token performance. The script is worth more. Buying the script is a material and important contribution to everyone's wellbeing, but particularly mine. It teaches me that I have a career as a writer, and also that complaining until my legal rights are met is a valid tactic to use in pursuing that career. Asking me to perform the script is negatively impacting my wellbeing, and most likely yours as well... it's lengthening a boycott that wasn't great for my mental health. I'm keen to review gigs, but I'm too broke to go to them, plus I'm not feeling it. I'll probably just get another fistful of guilt trips. - That's not to mention the transphobic appraisals of my mental state, largely from people that weren't psychiatrists, which have made me into a pariah. It's a rich tapestry, but all it's doing is preventing me from connecting with allies, and from feeling confident to pursue any real relationships. Still feels like I'm being watched, even though the threat of charges has been dropped. Convincing everyone I'm sane hasn't really removed the spies from my life. Occupational hazard of my Parliamentary protest, so it's still a bit like all these people made up a bunch of tall tales, but now I'm supposed to magically trust the system