Why do I suck at relationships?

Well, I think it's fair to blame this on my training. From 12-21, I was being taught elite music; this taught me that my worthiness was tied to my talent, and that my emotions were a weakness. Plus one of my teachers literally advised celibacy; that wasn't for homophobic reasons: it's just a common suggestion within that culture (much like elite athletics). I figured I'd have loads of time to sort that shit out, but life got in the way. 👋 - After that, I was mostly busy with my musicals or the weed cause, plus pining after unattainable people. Before 2019, I hadn't told anyone that I was trans; I felt like I couldn't be with someone until they knew that I felt that way. 🏳️‍⚧️