Why do I keep sitting in my room?

Well, for starters, that's an oversimplification: in addition to my semi-regular attendance at Question Time, I've also added research trips to the National Library and the language course that I'm taking via Te Wānanga O Aotearoa. Secondly, it's because all the offers for creative work were begrudging, and essentially based on a view that I was a sick freak and they had the right to 'correct' me. Nobody wants that kind of a deal, and I'm mentally healthy enough to legitimately refuse. Thirdly, because I'm in the middle of a bunch of projects: the Dakumentary is slowly rolling out, and that's requiring a lot of supervision. Shipwrecked on Islands is inching closer to a complete first draft, and I'm also discussing that Perfumed Garden idea. I realise that none of these projects are the ones that the 'community' wishes that I was pursuing: I know that half of Wellington seems to want to see me do a gig, but I honestly and plainly refused on ethical grounds. Until they legalise my weed, apologise for the bigoted attitude they expressed, in which passing is the best thing for a trans person, and admit that they tried to rewrite my Weeded Out script for reasons that were mostly based on their own vanity, then what's the point? They didn't like how they came off in the story... that's actually a fair reflection of my attitude towards those shits, and far nicer than the stuff I express publicly. - So I don't want to go to Ivy? So what? [Ivy is a lesbian bar, for non-Wellingtonians]. So I don't want to go to the NZSO anymore? So what: I've barely been since 2015. So I said no to being Tina? So what: that script still essentially explained me to all the people that were confused, and it's turning into a decent book. You know what you could do, well-meaning people that feel guilty that my life isn't going as well as theirs? You could actually meet me in places that I like to frequent, rather than calling me sick or evil or twisted for not enjoying your social world.

- Regarding my social life: I might drink a fair amount at home, but I very seldom get wasted in public. Take the word of all my actual friends: I'm almost never off my face, and honestly I've aged out of all that experimentation with drugs that I was doing in my twenties. Nowadays, I smoke my weed, drink my beers and take about 1-2 psychedelic trips a year. - One more apology, and this is the one that really counts: I expect an apology from people that assumed that certain characters in Weeded Out were based on them, particularly now that we've all seen my drafting documents. Jade wasn't based on Barbara, but if she saw herself in that story, that's fine.