Why can't I chill?

1. I ran out of weed. That's why I'm finding it more difficult to control myself.

2. I'm frightened by the prospect of people trying to force me to do things.

Now, here's a massive rant that will hopefully fucking well make you understand that I'm fully aware of other people's feelings, but want them to take mine into account, rather than trying to control me.

I may be submissive in a relationship, but rest assured that I'm assertive as fuck when it comes to my rights. - Salina, here's how I felt about that meetup: you wanted me to bring the energy because you're unable to do so.

You want me to be the glue that holds your faculty together, but I am refusing to do that.

I hated that you basically got Elliot to ask the questions for you. That's why I hate you: you're nice, but you're mean on the inside whereas I'm actually quite a nice person when my rights aren't being attacked.

You just want to perv on me like everyone else. You don't respect me as a musician, which is abundantly obvious from your feedback, and that meeting meant I couldn't sleep for two days. That's how much I hate talking to you people.

It felt phony. I didn't like being there. The entire reason I went was to talk to you one-on-one, but you lacked the courage to do that. This is why I'm not keen to study. You can't see past me when I was 15 and you were into me.

I'm 29 now, and I've had a much more colourful life than you. From my perspective, I grew up and got a real job, whereas you're the arrested adolescent who hasn't done anything differently since high school. - Re: relationships...

No, Meesh, we can't. I don't want you anymore. You chose the other guy, and I'm still upset about that. Also, I think you see me through a lens that my brother set up, and I think that's why we often struggle to communicate.

Stop comparing me to Terry and Andrew Bicknell. I wasn't diagnosed with autism. And, as is obvious, I have MANY interests -- I'm not just an expert on musicals: I'm actually knowledgeable enough about the political landscape that the pros stalk my page. Plus Kiwiana, plus classical guitar, plus cricket. I have loads of interests -- I'm very brainy and I'm very quick. -

Yes, B, I know you're brainy too. I just can't be in a relationship with someone who has a child. That's also a lie in the script: I really can't see how I could be with you while Remy's only 4 or 5 or something.

Your social world is one that is closed to me due to all those bigots spreading anti-trans sentiment, and while that upsets me greatly, I'm realistic.

Plus films. I'm also a world-class film buff, so yeah... it's not a small set of intense obsessions: my Mum always used to say my brain is like hers, in that I get into things really intensely for a while, but then I move onto something else.

My highly routinised behaviours are like Obama or Einstein: I used to do the 'wear the same clothes each day' thing, but now that I'm obsessed with fashion, I limit other options like my diet so that I could free up brainpower.

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The main strike against autism is that I'm almost psychic when it comes to reading people. Yes, I put a chunk of time into that, but it comes from an innate empathy. Mum said I was the empathetic one, while Stephen was the one who was blind to other people's feelings.

I'm not blind. I know I hurt a lot of people: however, this is literally life-or-death for me - the idea of detransition genuinely makes me suicidal.

I'm willing to be very mean if that's what it takes to get people to accept me as I am. -

No Alice, I'm never going to agree, but again you can purchase that script off me.

I'm not willing to rewrite or to alter the script to meet your needs. Buy it off me and you can do whatever you like with it, Wellington or Auckland people. That's a fair statement. I'm writing a book, and that's my plan.

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If you'd had to answer the invasive questions that I've been answering for the last several years, you'd feel about as angry as I am.

Honestly, pollies get to set limits, while I was treated like a criminal and have literally had to explain my way out of a prison sentence. What the fuck was wrong with you people that made you think I was into kids?

Honestly... what the fuck! That's why Wellington can't win me over: they ALL thought that.

I haven't forgiven you about that either, Aidan: that was not ok re your concert with the wristband -- I realised at the time what was going on, and that was treating me as guilty until proven innocent, which is the opposite of how justice is supposed to work. 😡

I wasn't on the high school grounds; I cut through the carpark and walked the same path that I walked when I was a student to get from the Massey Campus to the guitar workshops in the main Massey building.

I figured that was part of the Massey Campus.

And I WAS wearing trousers. Not just that, the high school kids apparently idolised me, as was obvious from In Blind Faith -- I laughed heartily at that, even though Cadence had some satirical, mean opinions about me. 👋 - While that Greens hui was, simply put, way over the line. You told me to detransition, despite supposedly being the socially liberal party that defends trans rights. You made fun of me for posting all that stuff on FB, even though I was posting largely to clear my name from all the negative bs that I was told people thought about me. I'm glad Tamatha is likely to win her seat, but I'm furious with the lot of you and that's why I'm planning to move somewhere else.🔥