To the NZSM

No, Sally Anne. I’m not taking time for the Beach Song and Weeded Out. It’s not you - Calliope is an anthropology major.

The uni has to accept I didn’t use their name in the Beach Song - it is generic, and my script pages clearly show that the song is set in Dunedin. They can accept that, and that I will not return because they’re trying to sue me. I’m not taking time unless you bring a charge sheet, and Jake's little gambit with the tinny makes him look like a giant prick. - My criticisms are genuine, and they are a valid recounting of my own experiences, along with those who weren't fortunate enough to have a voice that the faculty listen to: I'm just gifted enough to fuck with you all.

The school has problems; I don't want to fix them, because one of your problems is that you have used my work as free publicity, while paying Jake scads of dough. I'm not pretty, but I'm talented.