This hasn't been a good day, but here's another rant

Fucking well meet up with me, NZSM. Discuss with me what you want to discuss, and accept that I may still say no.

That's reasonable. That's fair. I'm willing to be blunt, but you lot have to be willing to buy my script without using me as a performer.

I will only ever say no. Jane cannot persuade me, Barbara cannot persuade me, and nor can a bunch of acquaintances I mostly remember as looking down their noses at me as I wasn't good enough, until after I left school and made my own kind of music. -

It is not possible to persuade me to be Tina. I will only ever say no.

Get Owen to do it re: preludes, leave me alone. He's better-suited to it. He can edit it. I'm simply not going to perform the preludes live. No threats can persuade me, and no theatre kids can persuade me to share with them when they mocked me relentlessly when I was young.

No means no. And the reason is simple: live albums are not suitable for real musicals. That's got to be a studio version. 😎 -

Then, after, for a live-action musical you can record live takes on the set, which get some of that energy. But, again, I'm not acting.

I will only ever say no. Catharsis isn't real, and you lot - Wellington artists who have good jobs and make a decent living while I live in poverty - just want to get paid. I already lost my job over who I am (though RNZ were too chicken to say that), so forgive me if I don't give two shits about people with mortgages. -

I will only ever say no. It is not possible to persuade me to be Tina. I will only ever say no. Nor Tim. Only Amanda as herself in a documentary, like the series that I recently put together.

But I really do not want people watching me prepare for the dawn concert. No, I am not interested in the fucking series.

Give up, NZSM. Give up on me and stop pretending like I wasn't right to critique you. I was, plus I was far from the only one to do that. So, though I bet you're all blaming me for the closure of those Classical and Jazz performance programs, I was one of many voices moaning about the inequities of that system. Ruby came at it from a Māori perspective, Lucinda from an Asian perspective, and myself from a queer/trans perspective. It's not surprising that the bad PR made VUW think twice about an expensive institution that wasn't designed for one university to fund. 😎