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So, I'm a masochist

  • Writer: Amanda Riddell
    Amanda Riddell
  • Dec 31, 2024
  • 1 min read

The weirdest thing about this is that it's probably the reason that I got tagged as a potential 'threat', but yet they also didn't seem to actually believe me. I'll put it another way: have you ever rubbed your dick so hard it bled? I have. A lot of it is psychological, but there are physical traits that reflect a need to punish myself for perceived failings. So, yeah, I'm not exactly kind to my penis, I starve myself on a semi-regular basis (only for like a day or two, after that first one) because I think that I'm too fat. Occasionally, I hit myself or injure myself, but that mostly feels a bit dangerous for me. -


Masochism = getting off from pain, but it doesn't mean that I'd let just anyone hurt me. I'm not really into the whole dominatrix thing, but someone like Penny or Angie that has a lot of experience is worth paying for (though I got some pointers for free).


Getting physically assaulted isn't a sexual experience, but it does show up in my kink. That's bog standard for a kink person, though - Why do I get off from pain? Well, it's a bloody no-brainer; cos of the slide accident that happened in Milan.


Psychological pain also gets me off, though, and that's precisely how I coped with all that detransition mafia nonsense in my porn feed. Eventually, I got bored, but the pressure kept coming.

 
 
 

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3 Comments

Amanda Riddell
Amanda Riddell
Dec 31, 2024

I bet that this shit wouldn't happen if I did metal or grunge or something where the lyrics aren't so clear and direct. It's something about musicals that sets people off. They think it's gay, but I do it with a slightly different slant. Plus with the accent shift, it goes from something foreign to something that sounds relatable. Here's the real answer: yes, I do often think of certain people when I perform, but given that they're not in the room with me, I think it's rather unlikely that they'll change their minds. One of the reasons that I've got hurt feelings regarding Michelle is that she didn't stick around to hear me do the songs at the Bluegrass Society in…

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Amanda Riddell
Amanda Riddell
Dec 31, 2024
Replying to

Regarding conversion therapy: the very notion that I interpret 'the' to be a statement of 't he [Tim]' suggests that I'm feeling pressure to be a man. That's coming from your bs, whether that be via the porn feed or the back channels. You've tried to fix that, but it still happens cos the pressure is still real. As I say, they built a code, and that's how they talk to me. Yes, for real. Being an activist is so much harder than I had initially thought it might be, but yeah... Maybe Tory the straight lady isn't the person to be making these types of calls?

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