more critiquing

I haven't enjoyed this whole vibe that people are saying they learned to understand me through my out-of-tune singing. To start with, I think I copied the singers I intended to copy extremely well, and that includes all those microtonal inflections. It's fucking annoying, to be blunt. It's one of those stupid perception things where now that my singing has improved, people think I've improved and am more capable of expressing my feelings. No, it's just a technical thing. My real feelings are very much the same as they've always been, ie conflicted and self-torturing, but because my voice is older and maturing, suddenly people believe those feelings. - I'm still as awkward about romantic attachents as I've ever been. For the shrinks: there's no substantial difference between my feelings for Lauren and Chloe: those were very similar experiences. My feelings about Chloe are quite different now than how they were before I started attending Question Time... that's more what I'm getting at. AI art didn't exist when I was obsessed with Lauren, but as I say that's mostly me attempting to map my inner universe, so those feelings are related to the type, rather than the individual. - I prefer the platonic friendships, like Lucinda or Eilish. But I can't help being attracted to people... that's a sign that I'm human. I'd love to work out how to surmount that barrier and be with someone, but ultimately faking that isn't an acceptable solution. I don't need a sexual surrogate as I'm not particularly keen to pursue a sexual relationship. I'm busy with other things, and I do wonder if my celibacy affects my music -- I think it probably does, which is why I sound like a virgin. - Quip: I'm married to my guitar, but I'm thinking about divorcing her... - Re: romance As I've clarified: I have a type. I like short, black-haired women (among other types). For me, a lot of that awkwardness comes from the pressure/expectation of kissing and sex and all those things that come along with romance for most people... I'm not hugely into those things, yet I'm the one who people keep on saying is defective because I'm not into sex. Instead, I write. The more people try to make me normal, the more I'll resist. I'm simply saying anyone who can't handle me in a skirt isn't allowed to boss me around.