'just give it a go'

I'm sick of that attitude. No, I'm satisfied that I'm better off on the dole than as a student. I preferred not having people supervising me, and my music developed better without that... since 2020, it's been frustratingly boring to constantly explain myself. It was a good idea, but I'm sick of writing down every thought that comes into my head. - I don't want to share with those people, and that's all re: Wellington. 😡 I feel like my enemies chased me out of town, so I'd rather do my films etc. somewhere else. Telling me to do it is only making me go on strike. I'm not going to give it a go. I'm not collaborating with VUW, I'm not doing a stage piece. I'm not ok to only be a rock star. It was never my intention, and I've got several ideas for future operas and musicals that I could compose if my enemies persist in attempting to cancel my 2030 opera. I'm not interested in debating those with a thesis advisor, as that's a hierarchical relationship. That's what I hated about school: all the status games, though I think actors are worse than musicians regarding that obsession with hierarchy. 🤣 I'd rather collaborate with someone else on a show, or on editing my book, than that. - People keep suggesting I should go to Porirua, but I'm not really that keen. I think I need a more dramatic change of scenery... I miss the endless skies of Canterbury.