how's my health?

Improving slowly. I'm eating more meat with B12, but I'm also drinking. Downsides of the injections = acne. I'm not into using skin creams: I tend to think that all that gunk is really environmentally unfriendly (though I'm aware there are eco-friendly options). It's made a dent in my negative feelings, but I'm still feeling pretty low and morbid. There's a real death obsession thing that's happening with watching all these old movies. Berlioz has some great quotes on how black a bipolar depression can feel. 'It is difficult to put into words what I suffered - the longing that seemed to be tearing my heart out by the roots, the dreadful sense of being alone in an empty universe, the agonies that thrilled through me as if the blood were running ice-cold in my veins, the disgust with living, the impossibility of dying.' Difference with me is that, in my black moods, I'm convinced that I'm dying. - Tried to write an email to the Earl of Seacliff today, but it bounced back. I know that he volunteers at the Paekakariki Railway Museum, so I could track him down there to discuss that Irish story that Barbara is keen on.