'Do better by me'

If you're wondering how you can help my trans activism, that's the key theme: That means she pronouns. That means absolute and unconditional tolerance. Do that correctly for me without the cameras around for an entire year, and avoid kink-shaming me, and then maybe we'll talk about Tina. Cameras = performative tolerance. That's not real. That's people faking it for cameras and then treating me like shit, and that's how it currently feels. If you're too afraid to be in a room with me without cameras, then I pity you. Grow up and admit that I've gotten rather good at this trannie thing, and you want to ogle me. 👋🏻 That's fine, but nobody needs to make a movie for that to happen. - Invite me to things that aren't on the uni campus -- I'm not done protesting their incompetence -- and show me you understand. Show me your support. Show me you understand that my value to you isn't just as your fucking meat puppet. To use a metaphor that people love, it's bloody hard to be like Bowie in Berlin when everyone is still treating me like the trannie freak. TWOA is a-ok with me as me, though.

- I think I deserve better than that. If I don't want to go to classical gigs, stop pressuring me. If I'd rather learn Māori than take another year of condescending pablum from composers that will never see me as their equal, that's my prerogative. Plus Michelle C: write to me rather than trying to second-guess me. If you're really that desparate to film the Tina thing, don't frame it as helping me: be real and say that you want to shoot it so that you can say that you've directed a feature. I get that feeling. That's why we made Portrait of a Knight. I'm willing to sell, and that's something that we could explore. I'm not acting for you, but there's dozens of other trannies and drag queens in Wellington; cast them, and get all your cronies to rewrite it, so that it's got that Friends vibe (that I think is sappy bullshit). I'll take my story by credit and publish my book. Everybody wins.

- To the 'friends': Accept that I have valid concerns regarding your pitch regarding my script. I've chosen to write a book based on my Tina screenplay, and that is actually my right as the creator. You may wish to reconsider your pitch after my book is finished, so how about being patient and letting me pursue the process which is generating this book (ie getting drunk, getting stoned and watching old movies)? I refuse to license EP songs because the 2030 musical is not a joke. You do realise that I've yet to write a musical with decent chorus numbers, right? It's really important from that perspective that I do it properly, with the full scale that it demands. -

Only ever going to say no until you actively improve my life with no expectation of financial return, but simply because you feel bad that your mates excluded me from our society for the last four years. I rant about money because I'm manic, but it's the people who acquiesced to this whole 'let's pick on Amanda' thing that I'm really hurt about. I'm wealthy enough, thanks to Dad. I'd love to hear some real apologies from people that led the anti-Amanda campaign, but something tells me those people are far too angry at their loss to concede that maybe picking a fight with me wasn't a great idea?