'culture change'

Stupid buzzword. I'd say it's an important issue: but it's really just meaningless drivel that technocrats say to feel important. Ultimately, nobody can predict how culture will evolve, though everybody tries. I would say that the Dakumentary is entertaining, but it's very much a novelty that might seem completely ridiculous in another few years. Like, if I'm interpreting this correctly, people have found in my favour. Like, they agree that I'm not responsible for Jake's death, and that they persecuted me despite that. They didn't want to listen to my perspective, so I got slut-shamed. -

And no, I don't want to study music while being treated like I'm in jail. That's not fun, and the music school can't really ask me to come back. I wrote a cease-and-desist, which is something that people who are pissed off at me might want to try. Just saying: that's the legal path. Re: Tina.

I'm just not interested. I don't want to get back to that me, and I don't want to be forced to pretend like it was ok that people literally disowned me and disinherited me.

Acting a role would never solve my internal issues, and being judged how I look on a daily, hourly, persistent basis in an actress in a film that VUW or the Film Commission is spending hundreds of thousands on would be a fucking awful career move. I'm best-known for my short films, so I'd like to expand on those, as they're the scripts that I see as trauma explorations.

Failing in that context would be the end of my career. And they'd say 'good riddance: I hate that creep, but that Film Commission, Wellington Council moolah that they helped us to acquire was fucking great!' Being glib, but you get my drift. The Plaything is the idea that I'm keen to talk about. And not as some dumb Master's project: I reckon it's the type of film that Riddell Productions could have made, so it's a test to see if that many people would get involved without my brother. He knew all the film crew people. - As for asking: well, I didn't ask any of the politicians or media companies whether I was able to use their footage for the Dakumentary, but I haven't actually received any complaints from Newshub, Chloe, RNZ or 1News. I mean, I made it look as if the Greens and Te Pāti Māori had co-produced the documentary, and that's true. Hopefully lots of their members saw it! It wasn't as though I chopped people up: I just remixed the lighting and sound. It's the type of project that people generally see as public media, and hence a public good, so there was a lot of support for it from that savvy media executive perspective. Very next-gen. - Still having delusions of dying of ALS. They seem to strike me when I'm tired. Plus my mind's been a bit foggy for the last couple of weeks.