brain droppings 26.4.2023

Ok, so we've covered what I'm not keen on, so let's cover what I am keen on: 1. I don't mind admirers, but those who want to meet me should start sending me emails, rather than expecting me to do all that (I'm not a very organised person).

2. I'd much rather make the sex work documentary than the Tina show. I like documentaries, and I don't mind fronting those; it's acting that drives me crazy. Particularly re: the Tina thing, it's annoying that people like her more than they like me, and that ultimately is why I pulled the plug -- I'd rather be Amanda 24/7 than fail at acting. Plus I thought my screen tests with dialogue were really average, and not up to sustaining a movie. While as a supporting character in the Dak film, I thought I was quite effective. That wasn't 'acting', though -- that was street theatre or me playing tunes. 👍 3. Stop trying to make me. I'm not returning. There's just no way forward for me with VUW.

I don't want to deal with crippled Jane. I know that's harsh and rude, but it's true.

I don't want to have Salina and Alex on the faculty with me, nor Michael Norris. I feel like as a composer, I'd be belittled and marginalised for my rustic sound, while everyone would desperately be trying to get me to sing. 🤬

That's not my vision. These people have never taken me seriously until I started breaking all the rules, and I've found explaining myself incredibly boring: no way I'm wasting years of my life on a thesis defence. 👎 Particularly as they haven't paid me a single cent to write my Preludes or finish the cycle: I did that with my own time and my own money, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. I rather liked being able to flip the bird to Michael with my preludes. 4. To the VUW faculty: Stop thinking you're better than me because you got a Masters or a PhD. What I knew was that all the great writers of musicals mostly only had a Bachelor's.

Even Trey has a music degree. But very few of the great writers have had a PhD. There's an anecdote about Rossini that goes along similar lines (i.e. opera composers don't need advanced music education). Don only had a Bachelor's too. So yeah, it's a gift to be able to capture the sound of how people really talk, and that's what my 'friends' on the faculty are unable to do. They're too fussy, and drank the Kool-Aid about post-tonal music.

Which is why my lyrics sound the way we speak. Despite my outer space attitude, the characters are realistic. The only reason you think I 'need' the education is because you disagree with my politics.

That's not acceptable as a reason. You lot can't do my thing, therefore, you're not helpful. I mean, you may hate my songs, but you gotta admit the multiphonics trick is pretty dope!👎 -

I've genuinely tried to set up lessons with Don McGlashan and David Long, but got smacked down by APRA. So don't say I'm not trying to better myself -- this is just the path I've chosen, and it's a lonely one. If I was passionate about legit opera, it'd be different, but I'm not; I love Britten scores, but even then I prefer the great musicals like Carousel and Porgy and Sunday.

Accept that Amanda is real, Amanda isn't going back to school, and Amanda has opinions about the wasteful spending that happens in NZ art music. 🤬 If you're willing to go on the record and let me interview you, I'd love to, but otherwise buzz off from spying on my posts (and whatever else you've been spying on). 👍