Archive journal - 16.2.2020

This is from my iPhone 4 journal. I was looking for something else, but this was fascinating. That was my brain at my peak... Flowers for Algernon is a novel I've read lol. 🤣 - Wallaceville - Upper Hutt line

After Trentham, but before Upper Hutt

Rupert's place.

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No point in doing drag without a swagger.

Need to find my feminine attitude. Which is more the stuff I learned hanging with Barbara and Amber.

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Point of my performance:

I make you believe it through my acting alone.

I know I don't pass for a woman, but the truth is you all see me that way anyway when I'm being a femme [Amy/Amanda].

Androgyny trans is much more disquieting, as the femininity is indeed innate rather than caked on - or so I hope, anyway.

In sum: It ain't makeup. The 'illusion' is all me.

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I quite like the Marilyn Monroe anecdote about how she 'turned on' Marilyn.

Need to bill myself as Amanda Riddell more often - nothing wrong with a stage name.

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Lemi Ponifasio - Jerusalem

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Good tip from Dave:

White People just don't know how to move their hips! That's why they clap on the 'square' beats [1,3]

Though, actually, letting my hips go was something Jane told me to practice...

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I'm hoping to create tunes that can be sung by hundreds of people.

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Again, remember the knobs will never stop talking over me.

No matter how hard I try.

I've just got to suck it up. Nothing I can do.

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To get today:

Webcam and USB hub

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Why I had to quit my job:

The system beat me, as always.

I can beat the system short-term, but trying to play along crushed me.

I could not handle it alongside all the other things going on in my life.

Not a good place to be a freak. Normal people subtly dislike me.. I can't help wanting to run from them.

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Will go to watch the Carmen doco, though probably not alone.

I can't stand doing that stuff alone anymore.

It is likely available online as well.

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Analogy:

Saying there were women of chiefly status in pre-contact Māori cultures negates arguments of tribal misogyny is the same as saying European cultures respected women because Elizabeth I, Catherine the Great, and Victoria were all respected rulers.

The truth is obvious, I think. Women largely tended to the hapū or spiritual matters, or were used as trade in tribal warfare.

Sacred Virgins were a thing, just as in Western cultures.

No participation in whaikōrero, just waiata.

'Women's Peace' is a concept we find all the way back in Ancient Babylon; trading a few wives between chiefs to mix things up because the bloodlines are getting a bit too in-bred and spawning idiots, I reckon... -

Women's Peace is because Women are the ones involved in conceiving (along with the Tohunga and 'entertainment'), and therefore notice such things.

They are negotiating for a better position, for sure, but it is still one in which they are generally slaves to the domestic and not a meaningful political entity.

Basically, I would argue that Women's Rights as commonly understood today were not generally considered by patriarchal societies, either in antiquity or the Modern era, and the prideful, militaristic and expansionist Māori cultures are clearly patriarchal.

However, the rights of the gender-diverse and 'others' have only ever existed under spiritual protections.

Matriarchal societies disliked us just as much as Patriarchal societies, even though we maintained their gods and goddesses. That's what the Anatolia: Land of Mother Goddess book said. -

Taboo is our realm, and I wish Women not touched by 'the spirit' would stop trying to move in on our turf.

Same-sex love is a common desire, and is comfortably not taboo.

Queerness isn't something you grow into. You're marked pretty early.

Following 'the spirit' as it calls to you is the tricky part.

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I dislike academic feminism after the 1960's as the 'gender gap' is in many ways the result of activists forcefully shoving trannies out of the 'movement' just as Women's Rights really got moving in the urban world.

The academic feminists and their partners in sociology have delimited 'transgender' to be a meaningless term for those uninitiated in Queer Theory [post-fact explanations of our spontaneous deviations from stifling social norms].

The non-binary transgender argument as an extension of gender being solely performative is stupid. Human sexual reproduction is now non-binary [in the post-modern era], but gender roles are indeed polarised, as they are classified ideals.

The intent of inventing an idealised 'man' and 'woman' figure, as we see in most spiritual aetiologies, is to signal which behaviours are acceptable in the existing system of social control.

Yes, even cooperatives have coercive mechanisms...

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We were bloody useful allies back when most people were illiterate.. and will be again now that most people are semi-literate.

Educated people are more proficient in numeracy [due to the STEM push], but really are a bit less useful in expressing themselves via language in Western systems than they should be.

Women are better communicators than Men, but they can't speak from the 'other' side. -

Third Gender is the useful descriptor. I prefer to think of trans as cultural 'translators' rather than performance artists.

I do both. Many do. But they fulfil different social functions and are separate roles (in my view).

Also, male trannies are SO Women (of a sort). All attempts to state the contrary have been largely disproven in both biology and psychology by 2020.

Nobody has a problem seeing female trannies as Men.. 'passing' only cuts one way, at least until the inevitable humiliation all transgender people go through in the Western world regarding genitalia, at least.

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People dislike the 'porn as a drug' argument because it cuts close to the bone.

Sexual desire is conditioned to a degree. There are innate tendencies, for sure, but their degree of expression is rather more mutable than people like to think.

I think Dave's attitude of not doing 'labels' is SO much better.

All the Gay, Lesbian and Trans agenda stuff just serves to bring the dicks onto the team.

The Queer movement is about the arseholes! 🤣