Why won't you tour?

Notwithstanding that the only way I could enter most English-speaking countries is if the promoters bribed their governments, I think most tours are invented by parasitic leeches that live off the income of other people's songs. All the things that make live gigs magical are taken away if you do stadium rock. Paul and I are talking about the kind of tour that his solo gig is suggesting. Exclusive, in theatres where amplification is tasteful (when necessary). 700-2000 seats. - I'm not big on music festivals either. Lots of hassle: I'd rather go tramping. Never been to Kiwiburn, though. I've thought about it.