Why won't I return to the NZSM?

Because the NZ School of Music has never directly invested in my professional development, despite investing in Jake's career. All those films of mine that they're pretending to like because the film and opera buffs do were largely done in spite of opposition and were funded by those involved, not the university. They simply and plainly seem unwilling to tolerate me as a transvestite, and have been totally unwilling to admit that their armchair psychiatrist hot takes were totally wrong. Wasn't diagnosed with ASD. Wasn't diagnosed as a fetishist. Wasn't diagnosed as being minor-attracted. Wasn't formally diagnosed with erotomania. Wasn't formally diagnosed with any learning disabilities (should've been obvious, given the prizes I won). There is no valid justification for treating me as if those statements were true, and the lack of a direct, formal apology is sickening. Treating me like an invalid was always wrong, and you're just ashamed that I caught you. - Plus all the teachers who did support me are gone, and I don't feel like it's my job to replace Jane, let alone John or Ken. The people that remain have pissed me off since 2020, and I refuse to help them, though I actually did offer solid advice on how to save themselves from oblivion. In fact, their decision to fire Jane is why no offer will ever persuade me. They fired a disabled woman, and want to exploit a trans woman. That's unconscionable. I'm not a castrato, and I'm not going to be treated as such. I'm a noteworthy composer by age 30: that's what my life and career is about.

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If you want to watch the colourful side of my life that makes y'all look like pussies, then please just sit down and watch the Dakumentary.

Apologise to me after doing so, because you'll have to admit that I'm not insane and that principled political activism is precisely why people think I'm worth listening to.

NZSO and Orchestra Wellington are in a similar boat: apologies must be made over attempts to rewrite Pan's Preludes for free. Sorry, but you can't cheap out because it wasn't a commission and I'm not a faculty member at a music school! That means you have to pay me to make parts, and to licence the music. - I resented attempts that were made to control me as a student, and genuinely believe that attempts they made to control me as an adult caused me to become suicidal.

The only path forward is one in which I maintain my right to study elsewhere, and those who wish I would choose otherwise have to shut up and respect my choice. VUW has no legal right to any of the creative work that I have produced. Licences are required, and those come with fees that enable me to improve my quality of life without having to practice guitar. By paying me fairly for my IP, you're investing in a future where I can own an apartment, and demonstrating respect for my method, which doesn't involve any upfront payments. Like, yes, I'm a good performer. I'm a much better composer. Be fair and pay me as if I'm one of the many cisgender composers that you treat like respectable adults.