What goes on in my head...

Well, I think that there is some internalised shame that I'm still getting over. I'm very confident that I wear my wardrobe with style, even though I have a somewhat dysmorphic (as well as dysphoric) lens that I see myself through. There's this odd phenomenon of people photoshopping oversized breasts and butts on DeviantArt that reflects those things, I suppose. I've got curves, which is more than some gurls, but I'm quite prudish in terms of my real style. - Like, that I've Got You Under My Skin video is one of Dave Roil's designs. He made that from a larger saree, and it was tailored to my body. I wear that very occasionally: it's quite delicate. While my green skirt has become as iconic as that Pierre Cardin skirt, so it's really a garment-by-garment decision as to what's my regular wardrobe, and what's my occasional wardrobe. To me, reducing fashion to gender binaries is stupid, but I also identify with elements of that trans narrative which most people identify with (people knew from a young age, and I started crossdressing at 11). - But I've also had enough of explaining myself and deflecting questions and feeling constantly watched. I'd rather that people took a chance and reached out to me, but part of why I dream up projects like my 2030 story is that people are more likely to work with/for me than they are to want to socialise with me. I'm considering whether to take my politics more seriously; I think we'll see how I feel after all that gender-related debate in 2024 ... that's going to be exhausting.