trigger snark

I'm not using those songs. I'm simply not acting.

Stop trying to make me act.

And I'm not really ready to adapt my script to prose. That's a goal for after the guitar recordings.

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It's not a trick for live work. It's a sonic trick.

I'm not an actor. I'm pretty much a normal person, but composing is a strange hobby.

I hate the pressure about prettiness. That's what my persona is a reaction to: the obsession straights have with watching the gender transition. Like, clearly I look more femme than 2018 Michael, and had they all bothered to socialise with me, they'd have seen that.

I think Facebook is a good medium for my performance, but I'm not planning to revive Weeded Out. I think that my writing has been more influential than my activism, and I'm sick of acting.

I really like singing, that's fun for me. But I prefer being an amateur singer, while as a guitar player I'm obviously a pro.

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I don't really want Jane the way I used to. That's one of those things: I didn't feel the same about Aidan either, though yeah I still have romantic feelings for Aidan.

I felt awkward around Sarah; I liked her, but as a friend. I think she thought there was more to it -- I think of her more like an ex-girlfriend rather than just a friend.

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The pressure to perform is a reason that I'm pissed at Jane. I feel like she was the one who got inside my head about being a performer.

And was always disappointed that I focused on other things rather than a guitar major.

I appreciated the advice, but yeah I've rebelled against my teachers, as the enfant terrible typically does.

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I much prefer my practice room, and capturing practice room magic is what my FB character can do that TV couldn't.

That's why I scrapped the idea when I was in my earlier twenties. I'd had the guitar player as protagonist idea, and I thought Jake might do it, but when I was scheming approaches, I couldn't figure out how to film it so it'd feel authentic.

I feel like I solved that this time, but it's too much of a project for me to take on. I don't want a $1 million loan hanging over my head. Even the $50,000 I owe for my student loans pisses me off, as it's why I've stayed in NZ (so the loan is interest-free).

While I think the black screen and phone technique has captured the magic.

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The Arts Grants are massive. I don't think $75,000 is realistic either. That's too much for an album, regardless of how epic the scale.

Those don't open for a few weeks, though, so I might be able to work up a pitch.

I still think my best bet for funding my documentaries is to sell them to news agencies.