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Trans person sitting in a room

  • Writer: Amanda Riddell
    Amanda Riddell
  • Dec 31, 2024
  • 3 min read

That's been most of the last few years. People who think that they were supporting me spent far too much time telling me they'd only have me around if I was 100% sober. Anyone that knows anything about drug and alcohol addiction would tell you that's a terrible idea, and that weaning people off is better than all that cold turkey shit that you see in the movies. When I say 'telling,' I really mean using bloody manipulative tactics. - The strange thing is that I haven't behaved badly at any events. They're just so afraid of my social media page and my blog that they presume I'll come and wreck shit. My music 'friends' took until 2023 to attempt to win me back over, and that was only after all those cuts at VUW had been announced. VUW didn't support me. There was no offers of financial support, and their 'help' was actually transphobia and kink phobia. - Where were the offers for commissions? Dropping hints that you want me to take up the Lilburn fellowship isn't helpful because it implies that I need your shitbox of a house, but you're not even remotely interested in actually paying me.


I'm sure there's some clause that all the music I write in that house is their property, because that is the only reason they'd offer it. They've taken to using that fellowship as a way of getting people into the PhD program. The answer is that the millions from my movie and whatever else that I may have done are simply not available because of the consistent transphobia. As I say frequently, it's fine until you're about 25. Then it gets hard. - So, yeah, I haven't forgiven anyone for telling me to be straight and male, and I definitely haven't forgiven them for being awful human beings that accused me of making up the assaults and the transphobia (including theirs). VUW is going to have to leave me alone, for good. The boycott is easy for me to maintain, and you're just gutted that you're about to be fired, because then your kids might have financial difficulties. VUW: please cease and desist. The letters are extremely clear. - TWOA is actually quite healthy financially. It made a small surplus recently, and they're pumping money into renovations. The Porirua campus has just been through those, and I'm looking forward to using that new campus during my tikanga paper. They don't see me as a cash cow, and they don't treat me any differently from other students. They didn't need to give a big speech about trans issues: they just see me as a student who happens to be trans. There is some tension about how I might fare at the marae, but they're open about that. - That's my answer for the Police: no, I'm not going to press charges on the lady in my building because that's just ridiculous. As we've seen, there's probably enough to prove that I was being illegally surveilled by VUW faculty members. I'm not vindictive: so long as they cease those illegal activities and allow my independence from their clutches, then that is actually enough. No, I'm not going to do an MA, and VUW is going to legally accept the outcome that my screenplay wasn't their property.


As for NZ Opera: they have two choices. 1. contact Dave and myself about the project because they've clearly become aware of it. 2. Let us develop it independently, rather than watching my every move. I'm very clear that there are strict terms and conditions that they have to meet to licence my songs. - Unlike all those professors and conductors, some of the pro non-classical musicians and media people actually had my back, and had the guts to show their faces and talk to me.


In fact, Mary bloody hired me. She took a punt, and I made $14,000 at a salary of over $30 p.h. - Leave me be, Salina, Michael, Dave Lisik and Umar. Either communicate with me about gigs or ideas that have nothing to do with postgraduate study, or leave me alone. Get to know me as a person, and not a social media presence. If you dislike me, and dislike my politics (as well as my fashion), then fuck off. VUW, the Green Party, and Red Scare are the targets of my ire, and they know why.

 
 

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