To the musicals people

I can't help but notice that the Guardian article from Tuesday regarding the difficulties the local scene is facing called out the West End for vacuous celebrity casting. Telling me to make a musical based on Weeded Out would be exactly the same. You'd trade on my connection to Sondheim and ignore The Perfumed Garden. I'm not famous because he thought I was good: it's my original songs and movies. What did I inherit from him? The ability to write convincingly in most idioms. He plugged my early musical, but he did that for lots of people. - Yes, I'm a much better singer than most; no, my voice isn't your property. Hugh Jackman isn't a composer. I'm a really good one. Spending three hours on stage counting the beat seems like a tedious existence. - It's not that I haven't written a winner: it's that all you pussies are afraid to stage it, and are particularly worried that it might not have enough roles for European singers. You're wrong, incidentally; there were lots of Caucasians in the Islamic world during the Islamic Renaissance. Our plan is to dress specialist singers in the chorus as slaves. Slavs were particularly common. Slav literally means slave. Moors refers to Muslims, not Africans. Another common mistake. - That's where Paul McCartney comes in: he wants to produce my ideas, not yours. What y'all need to do is write authentic rock rather than musical theatre pablum. In fact, fuck authentic rock: even a shred of authentic music would be a change! Shipwrecked on Islands is a movie, while The Perfumed Garden is a stage piece. Unlike Shipwrecked, The Perfumed Garden is fully notated. If you pricks in Australasia won't do it, Peter Jones reckons that Canadians will.