To Disney and Sony

I've written a bunch of cease and desists before; here's another one. There is no way to persuade me to be Paul McCartney in a movie. Stop asking. If your film has significant rights issues and dead cast members, then it's over. As the industry has discovered, I don't live in LA. I've taken your threats to the police. My fair use of your copyrighted materials for research and communication is sensible, and I haven't been extradited to the US to face charges, so it's probably legal enough. Portrait of a Knight and Wellington Stories aren't infringing on Disney IP. As I said, we've suggested an alternate package of musicals that might be just as good. - Waiting For The Beatles wasn't intended as a taunt. Sir Paul reckoned it was a winner. Danny Boyle and Himesh Patel are keen to write it. - Regarding the deaths, the blame lies squarely with your attitude and your producers. Sam Mendes and Paul Mescal should've been held in remand until their trials. They assaulted Sir Paul at an office after he satirised them on SNL. You guys got them bailed, allowing them to cook up their revenge scheme. I was informed that Sir Paul had killed your film in late April.