The answer is really simple: if people don't apologise to me personally, then I'm unable to lift the boycotts, and I refuse to perform in Wellington.
Everyone just wants to sweep their bullshit under the rug, and I'm not prepared to let it all be water under the bridge or let bygones be bygones because I wrote a piece that they want to perform. If I was cisgender, I'd still be valid, even if I wasn't writing a new piece. Nobody should have to feel as if their songs or compositions are their ticket to basic human dignity. - What does human dignity mean to me? The dignity of an equal chance, and the dignity of face-to-face meetings. The dignity to be able to lose my temper without losing all my friends. The dignity to get paid fairly for every bar of music that I write or every minute of film that I cut. Those smug shits are used to having all of those things, and lucrative day jobs that make them think they're more important than the constituent they're insulting.
At least I can hold my head up high and say that I've never done a marketing or communications gig, and that my journalism is beginning to be taken seriously. PR people aren't exactly the devil, but they enable the devils. -
I feel like their bullshit means that they have to take a step back. People who accused me of wanting to have sex with teenagers really need to think about how they'd have felt if I'd said that to them.
Or if I'd slut-shamed them for being touched without their consent, then told them to let the person who did that to them premiere their first major piece for orchestra.
People who shamed me about my penis should feel guilty after reading my story about what happened to me at the oratorio. That's one of those 'you never asked' moments that demonstrates that being brown doesn't absolve you from being transphobic.
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Put it this way, Tory hasn't met my demand of cessation and an apology by the end of 2024, and I've been saying that for quite a long time now. I can't help but think that if the mayoress told VUW that it was over, then they'd cease, but my read is that she's still enabling them to continue to pester me with bullshit offers. The Green Party in general needs to provide an apology, or I'll be adding Question Time to the list of things that I'm boycotting.
I don't want a politically convenient apology which serves as campaign trail fodder. My goal is an inconvenient apology that brings them some slightly awkward press, much like the stuff that was implied about me in the newspaper and at the hui. Blabbing about Chloe's problems isn't awkward press: nobody believes me, but it's true, and that's a very solid defence. I think I've proved that the back channel exists this year, and that's rebalanced the relationship between me and the politicians. Much to their chagrin, I might add. They don't want it to become public knowledge that they pretty much told me to detransition, so they're in the bargaining stage of grief over the death of the Tina project and their ability to ruin my life with impunity.
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