Something for the doctors

I think we can all agree that my relationship with Jane was heavily dependent, but until she got injured, the part where she was dependent on me was invisible.

That's why I'm furious at the NZSM: they damn well knew that there was something going between me and Jane, yet it was actually encouraged. -

So, if we're to talk about my erotomania, I want a lengthy discussion of the institutions that both taught me that behaviour, and enabled me to continue it because they valued my talent over my social skills.

While I think my relationship with Barbara - which had nothing to do with the NZSM - was much healthier. Which was also reflected in B's far more tolerant approach to my queerness and transness (yes, I'm both).

I'm sorry I got mad at her, but that's what happens after ages of radio silence... 🤣 -

However, I do think that the opera world is very conservative, despite the shows often being more trashy and 'sexual'. But that's not acceptable for me: performing on stage isn't my dream -- my dream was to write musicals, not star. My guess is Barbara likes me because I'm not some opera bitch, and have real opinions. But then, how was I to know that she knew Jacinda personally? 👋 -

B never told me how old she was, so I figured early 30's when I met her, but she was probably older than that. Lauren was 28, I was 22. I was obviously the baby. Though I was 27 when I sang the cycle... those age differences seem less important now, but it did put me off then.