Reflections

So, after watching a documentary about my twenties, here's what I learned. - Rule of thumb: don't trust the media; don't trust the government.

That's what I really learned - If I hadn't been an almighty prick and started trolling the pollies by attending Parliament and mocking them, there's no way I'd have the freedoms that I currently have. Which is probably why I'm not with Chloe: she's still one of 'them' to me, even though the Greens seem very nice.

I mean, sure there's a sense that we're 'together', but realistically it's obvious we live in different cities. I'd say we're united from the perspective of legalising weed, but I've been an avoidant shit and more or less not been keen to expand beyond that IRL. Which is probably why she's angry at me... I've made stubbornness into an artform, though she seems equally matched vis-à-vis recalcitrance and arrogance. I'd say the Dakumentary is essentially a mixture of our sensibilities: Chloe the savvy, relatable politician with trenchant contemporary cultural references, and me the hothouse fairy who can copy pretty much anything I hear or see (if I want to) and knows their history cold. Plus Gary's punk-DIY thing. Those are the main creative voices of the film imo.

- I think the turning point for me was when Dakta told me the fuzz thought I was part of the 'inner circle' of the club the morning after he'd been bailed following the second raid. From that moment on, the implied threat that if I didn't toe the line they'd pursue charges has been very real. That was in 2019. That's how long I've been covering my arse, and honestly I reckon my bipolar is a really useful legal defence too. But I wanted to clear my name without relying on mental illness as a crutch, and that's why I made the documentary. This is why I don't have very much time for my artsy-fartsy friends. They have no idea how that feels, and they can't because they wouldn't have the balls to join an organised criminal group. The film doesn't put that across... it's much nicer. I prefer my crim buddies - they've been a key source of support, and they're much more sensitive to my mental troubles. I said horrible things about Dakta and Gary too, but it's the celebrities who had a 'problem' with it (Chloe excepted, perhaps), while they were more forgiving. I have no plans to walk around on eggshells for a bunch of people who basically think I'm a sick freak and need 'correcting' to be straighter. To the musos: I'm not Gareth. I'm not Alex Taylor: they're gay, like actually homosexual. That's different to me the transgender ace. I'm Amanda, and I'm proud of how I've lived my life and who I became over the course of the film. If that's a problem... this is why I parted ways with the classical scene.