Reflection 29.7.2023

See, the pot stigma is still very intense. It's great that the rockers embraced my vibe, and put up with my shit; there's a part of me that desperately wishes that classical music was less stuffy and less elitist and all that, but it's not really possible.

I'm a guitar player, right, so my instrument isn't that expensive, and it's a fairly democratic process re: talent. That's why the classical players are sniffy about classical guitar, though... elitism = expensive is better. 🤣

That's not true for orchestral instruments . Those are like $15-20,000 minimum for a pro-quality instrument, and reeds are more expensive than guitar strings.

Plus the private lessons are pricier too. -

Pianists are essentially cannon fodder. More or less every classical musician can play the piano decently, so good pianists are cannon fodder.

Plus every conservatory auditions students, except for composition, which is why the eccentric weirdos all major in composition. If you started learning your instrument after puberty, it's very unlikely that you'd ever enter a conservatory. I started classical training when I was 5, which is totally normal for violin or piano, but slightly odd for guitar.

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As a crass, commercial musician, I think that my scoring sessions are a chance to throw off those shackles, but honestly I doubt that would happen.

As I hope you're all discovering, it takes balls of steel to negotiate the film biz. Film is the ultimate democratic medium, but there's this perception that films should be glossy and 'serious' that creates a stultifying sameness to government-funded movies the world over. That's essentially a genre unto itself: state-funded cinema that plays at obscure festivals and nobody sees. 🤣 -

Those people attempted to force me into signing the deal to whore myself out, and that's what I reacted negatively to, hence the tantrums. I expect the Film Commission to pick up the phone or send me an email if they're that keen for my scripts. Otherwise, Imma keep finishing my scary 2030 musical and they can wait. -

I'd much rather persuade private investors to fund Shipwrecked on Islands: the movie! That's more or less what I'm driving towards... finish the script, record a great demo album or do a backer's audition (see, that's when you'd get to hear the songs IRL -- I refuse to license my songs unless it's for the 2030 setting👍) to fund said album/radio play. I'd love to do the 2030 movie, and it isn't possible to make me excited about Tina. I plan to say no until everyone decides to meet me IRL to discuss BOTH scripts.

If Tory was to back that project up, then I reckon I could get those rich Wellingtonians into the room while I tell them the story of the 2030 musical. While re: Auckland, I dunno... I reckon I could actually raise money there, though, which is why I'm keen to move.