Places I don't go

So, yes, I'm saying write to me. I'm saying include me, but I'm also saying that I won't step foot on the VUW campus. Ever. I fucking do that. I've been doing that for years. I don't want to think about uni, but they can't let go... and I will not be involved with those people because of their opinions about my drug use. I'm fine with being a drug addict. It's a positive part of my life where I found a community of people who actually are supportive. While all of my musician friends want me to be a sidekick in their lives, and I do not want to be that. I refuse. I refuse to attend concerts. I refuse to be told how to think from people who honestly shouldn't have been messing with me. I refuse their petty, bullshit offers to buy my silence. I plan to speak my mind. I have pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed because I'm fucking serious that I don't care how much trouble I'm in that I will not bend. My suggestion for anyone who feels hurt is to change the channel. I'm not advertising my thoughts: that's just part of the persona, but I advertise music. -

I am not interested and I just have to reiterate this: any of you who are too chicken to send me an email do not get to tell me what to do. All of my friends need to start from square one with me, because I haven't seen any of you for several years. I will not do opera. I will vehemently whinge and moan about the unfairness that Luke was privileged re: the commission, and I will not work with him. I just don't care, and if you really want me, then fucking well set up a time to persuade me, because this shit is exactly why I refuse. - This isn't 'rehabilitation' -- these people showed that they were NOT my community. I refuse. I get to refuse, and I'm refusing. I'd rather work for RNZ. The acid won't change me. I'm resolute. This is my stand: make my movie, and accept that I'm worth meeting because I'm genuinely good at making movies. - And don't tell me to 'be Chloe' -- that's not how that works: I built Jo, who probably has fairly little to do with her. It's not like you have to take my advice, but I'm wired to give advice; I'm a teacher, after all, even if I teach in my shitty little room. -