Parliament 27 January 2026

No Question Time today. Smoked lots of weed, so it was fairly painless. 1:50 pm - David waved at the Speaker's Gallery, including me. 1:57 pm - A spy sits down in the Speaker's Gallery spy seat. - PM's statement on the Mt. Maunganui landslide: 'deepest condolences' Distracting from real issues with performative sincerity 'This is a tragedy ... long, painful days ... worked tirelessly ...' 'Our hearts and thoughts are with you' Extreme weather was glossed aside as 'an unfortunate reality' 'As the scripture says...' Chippy: 'deepest sympathies' He's definitely the better actor of the two. 'we extend our support' Then he stuffed up: he said the 'little things' like keeping people fed. Given who usually prepares food, that's a sexist statement. 'These events aren't isolated. They are becoming all too common.' 'The burden of these events falls on all of us.' Marama: 'deepest thanks' .. long intro in reo Māori. Same vibe as all the others. 'Are we planning to the best of our ability?' 'Are we being honest about the challenges we are facing?' Cameron Luxton: 'it has always been a sacred place.' He lives in the neighbourhood. Thanked the Prime Omelette and Mark Mitchell for being on the ground. He said 'some voices have politicised' the disaster. Winston: 'applauds and thanks' 'look out for each other' NZ is 'deficient in resilience' ... then he spruiked the party. 'so-called experts' = 'Monday morning quarterbacks' Rawiri: a waiata and a mihi. His auntie died recently. 'In every crisis, it is Māori who respond first ... we are the last to receive support' 'We are here every year talking about the same conditions' 'When does the resilience fund hit these areas?' 'We don't need more fly in, fly out ... the ideas and the resilience must be driven by those particular communities.' - Now, the main event. Everyone except TPM spoke for 20 minutes. Prime Omelette 5/10 'Welcome to 2026 ... the recovery has now arrived' Building consents and job ads are up.

'Everyone's pretty positive ... we have cracked down on gangs' Listening to this guy is a downer: people as economic commodities. 'A spine of national capital ... we have to get richer to build the future.' 'Promoting growth, creating jobs ... fixing the basics and building the future' Chippy 8/10 The clear winner in the room. Had most of the House laughing along with him. 'Spin and dirty laundry ... that was a speech delivered to lower expectations' = Luxon. 'This is a government that is out of ideas ... the economy is at least 1% smaller than it was before [before the coalition came to power] ... more debt than we were going to have ... inflation being driven by government.' Chippy got very emotional. It was almost like Network: "I'm mad as hell..."

'Not one single family got the $250 a week that the National Party promised.' 'Magical mystery surplus' 'NZ can do better than training people for other countries' Between all this, he said some stuff that was almost a climate policy. When it came to people running down the defence force, he was livid, suggesting that they were making light of the deaths of soldiers. 'Doctors are walking off jobs' Chlöe 6/10 'Day by day, deal by deal, we are becoming the country they want us to be' 'For many people living in Christopher Luxon's New Zealand, the power is out' 'The future they are promising is more of the same' 'I want New Zealanders to listen' - Listen to their awful bullshit. - Ask who they're really serving. 'We can be a country that prepares.' She told the Emperor's New Clothes story in full to draw comparisons to the Omelette.

'Nature doesn't care about the latest economic orthodoxy' 'We are not in politics to be in power at all costs' 'Fight for the things we have in common.' 'Bring on November 7th' Pink Skull 5/10 'Choose to come to this country' 'Give our children a better tomorrow' 'We are pioneers. We are adventurers' Chlöe was the subject of typical mockery, but she was moaning afterwards. 'The poor will eat more because the government is spending less' He was winging it, but it was fairly coherent.

Winston Peters 4/10 'A time for focus and imagination ... for great inspiration' 'Extraordinarily depressing today' Big swings at Labour. He can smell the potential votes.

'NZ First has played an integral part in this government' Shane Jones = a 'can-do' minister. 'Part of the solution, not the problem' His ask to mainstream media: 'ask them how they feel ... can't you understand basic economics?' Settled a score with Tangi Utikere over the ferries. Young people = 'productive earners' 'Rail made a serious profit last year' 'We don't dream up utopia and pass around the smoke' He was slightly incoherent. The talking points were audible, but lots of waffle.

'We believe in multilateralism ... their politics is hypocritical and extreme ... our job is to recognise that we're the only group of parties that can improve New Zealand' Question Time resumes tomorrow. I'm busy.