Letter to an anonymous trans man

I heard a story from a friend about a trans man in an all-girls school that had parents that weren't very supportive. My advice is that the distress caused by dysphoria is also magnified by pressure to conform perfectly to one gender role or the other. That's the binary view of trans people that is still fairly common in this day and age. - I hated puberty. I was so uncomfortable about my dick that I seldom touched it, and instead I'd have these nocturnal emissions that were often deeply disturbing. Plus I got comments from some of the guys about how girly my legs were... - One of my students started using T, but they're more of a non-binary type. My personal belief is that very few trans people are seamless, and that's partly because in the case of mtf that cosmetic surgeries are generally needed to shave throats, add heft to boobs and remove body hair (among other things). That's quite expensive, and some people probably don't need quite that much affirmation. It puzzles me that people are basically ok with a tomboy, but then it becomes some huge deal when they hit puberty. I mean, breast binders are quite effective, and I'm sure that even in an all-girls school there's probably some positive male role models. I'd say that names and pronouns are really important, and a particular part of the anti-trans rhetoric that really annoys me is this idea that kids shouldn't be allowed to change those things. Like, dysphoria is a very powerful emotion, and it causes self-hatred. If someone wants to use a boy name or male pronouns, that's really their choice: half of the Asian girls in my class used Western names. - As for me: well, I expect she pronouns, even though it's not natural. I want them to lean into that discomfort, and that's my radical side.