Early morning light reflects off glass buildings constructed during a previous neoliberal revolution - Rogernomics, as it was known in Aotearoa.
Jade arrives at the office. She gets off her bike, and takes a photo of the dawning light.
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Later; some boring meeting.
'Our KPIs are falling across all metrics. Processing times are down 50%' - Jade's boss.
Jade wishes that she were anywhere else. It's not her fault that the KPI's are down...
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Pūkeahu War Memorial Park. Lunch. Jade eats a sandwich. Another young woman practices a poi routine. She goes on for a few minutes, then she takes a break. 'That was mean' - Jade. 'Thanks' - poi woman. Awkward silence. 'I know a little, but then my life got all messed-up.' 'Too messed-up to dance?' 'Yeah.' Their eyes meet. More awkward silence. 'My friend plays guitar here sometimes, and I was hoping to run into... them.' 'Them?' 'Well, he likes to wear dresses and stuff, but I can't tell if he's fronting or not because he keeps on talking about kinky feelings and being such a drama queen, so I just want to, like, have it out!' Jade's becoming the crazy woman that she always feared she would. The other woman is unfazed. 'I used to live with a crossdresser. People are always getting the wrong idea: my friend and I started sleeping in the same room, and everyone thought we were lesbians!' That relaxes the vibe. The woman pauses for a second and reflects. 'Love is love, right: it's not just about sex.' 'Totally' - Jade. -
Early evening. Tina and Jade on the couch at Jade's flat in Mt. Victoria: trannie and woman, with a beautiful view of the sun setting over the hills. 'People are afraid because we define ourselves by who we sleep with.' - Tina. Jade nods. 'There's more to life than sex!' A long pause. They can feel each other's breath. 'I reckon that intimacy means breaking through the lies.' - Jade. 'How so?' 'Well, even healthy relationships are possessive.' 'Maybe that's just you.' Jade isn't having this bullshit. She shoots him an angry look, then puts an arm over her. 'Making love is possession.' 'I wouldn't know.' Awkward. She tries again. 'We don't have sex just to reproduce. I think it's about marking territory sometimes.' 'That's a scary thought!' 'Only if you've neutered your animal instincts. We're all animals, Tina.' - Jade falters, unsure whether to say Tim or Tina. She starts rubbing Tina's back softly, taking control of the situtation. 'A lover strives to become worthy of their beloved; it's not possessive: it's the awakening of inner beauty.' - Tina. More philosophy! Jade is upset, and backs away to the other end of the couch sulkily. 'And you see that in your beloved?' - Jade, gesturing to a guitar. 'In a way.' - Tina goes over and strums a few chords. 'Keep calling me Tina; it'll get easier over time.' 'Why?' 'Because it's important to me.'
This is the real me. Tina is a character. - And he's back on his soapbox again, thought Jade. He might be hot, and he might be smart, but he's not giving her the love that she needs: when they were teenagers, she thought that he was a knight in shining armour, but now he's more like Don Quixote: tilting at windmills and fighting the powers-that-be. Why can't he just be straight?!! Why are all the good guys gay?!! She wants him to possess her, yet all he does is go on about politics and religion and dress like a poof. He keeps on banging on about noble quests and worthiness, but she doubts that it's ever occurred to him that she might feel unworthy of his love. Tim was so quick with quips that he almost always deflected away any real questions, and Tina was so strident that Jade felt like she was always two steps behind, catching up just as her queen strode forward. Plus he-she kept on making enemies with their bold ideas. She wonders whether she'd have the stomach to be the wife of William Blake, though at least Tina was celibate... ... - Jade has a eureka moment. Ah... it's not a pose, she thought. Tina really can't, much like her gay friends. ... Sex was instinctual for her, but she knew some people aren't wired that way. Maybe she was being selfish to expect Tina to be like a guy in bed when he-she clearly felt otherwise. ... Maybe she was looking at this equation all wrong: she'd pegged guys before, but she knew that it was different for trans people. Tina was very delicate. Either way, his/her emotions were deeply private; all she wanted to know is what they really felt, rather than some quote from a book. But everyone needs physical intimacy... why is love always so hard? -
Tina is riding home on the train. It's student night, and the patrons are wasted. A gaggle of skimpily clad girls hop on near Porirua. One eyes Tina with the evil eye (that's an Italian thing). Tina tenses up. The girl walks past. As she does, her hefty mate's boobs spill out of her tight top. She also flashes the evils at Tina. 'Fucking trannie!' 'Fuck you too!' The conductor stares at them. Tina looks hard, unyielding: another important look for people that want to copy her. (end of part 4)
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