It's not autism

Or, at least, autism isn’t the problem with me and society. That’s the mood disorder, which actually is diagnosed, as is my gender dysphoria. 👍 - Points against an autism diagnosis: people often remark on my empathy skills, and they also tend to think I’m a very clear communicator. Those aren’t traits autistic people typically have: to be fancy, I have a solid theory of mind, and that’s how I’m able to write catchy earworms or incisive character studies. - Points for an autism diagnosis: I dislike change, I’m set in my ways, and I’m relentless. I have a rare disease to start with, and there’s a reason the doctors who examined me IRL came up with bipolar rather than autism. I asked about DID, and they didn’t reckon that .. cannabis is a dissociative, as is alcohol - it’s a symptom of drug addiction (another real diagnosis, though only the cannabis use disorder was diagnosed - CBD weed is literally a totally different high, and that's why I'm improving). -

I don’t mind being an addict. I have an addictive personality, and the drug/alcohol use is definitely self-medicating.

On balance, I'd rather produce the great pieces and occasionally end up in the emergency room, rather than produce mediocre work. I didn't really get the hang of Zoom during Covid, so multiply your loneliness by several times, and that's how I felt in my jail cell of a room. However, I loved that Covid meant the end of social niceties, and I'm optimistic that people won't want to shake my hand, or any of that crap. 👍