"I will know that my counseling journey will be worth it if..."

I no longer feel persecuted for how I dress, and I no longer feel like there's a bunch of people trying to force me to do things against my will. Again, I'm not digging this whole 'guilty until proven innocent' vibe that I've been putting up with to explain that I'm not completely irrational, and it's not abnormal for me to have a crush and feel awkward about that. That's my whole love life... and apparently some of them liked me back, which also suggests I'm not as insane as people thought. A lot of misunderstandings happened on all sides; that's what I've taken away from this opportunity to clear up the ones from my end. - I should probs point out that I was rewatching Bro'Town during 2020, so that Church of the Awesome Showtunes thing was intentional, sort-of .. I was hoping to sound saner, but I blew it... my anger got the better of me after the election, so I went nuclear. I love that show, but it's not what I'm keen on for me. I think that all the analogies to American gay shows put me off making my soap: it suggested there wasn't a meeting of the minds about the vision. I'm not returning to VUW, and there's simply no way to make me want to. I'll resist at every turn, and that's the only thing I'm ever going to say: no. They didn't make me feel welcome the first time around, so fuck the do-over. No deal, I'll go somewhere else, thank you very much. I've spent most of the last 3 years feeling like the uni wanted to do me in, and that's not been fun: the cops and the ivory tower aren't my friends imo. - I'm not interested in a bunch of people who are prejudiced against me telling me what to do; if that's the vibe, then I'd continue my non-violent resistance. So, yeah, some of those are things where social change is also important. I'm surprised that Winston Peters is using the bathrooms thing as a political football: I seldom use public restrooms myself, though I often use the ladies room as a form of protest. - To Wellington or Auckland producers: There's no possible way of selling me on the Tina series. If you're hellbent on making it, then purchase my material. That's rational, that's what I've said for over 6 months now. Personally, I'd like to write my book, but I can't right now as it's difficult to focus on prose when you're all trying to make me practice so you can film me. Which has resulted in me not practicing... are you getting the picture? That's my choice, and until those demands about Tina stop, then I'm not lifting a finger.