fiddling while the earth burns

I had a funny thought: what if Spotify and YouTube are free so the masses distract themselves while their parent corporations destroy the planet? As a twentysomething, I seldom pay for music or movies. I can't afford to, to be honest. - I don't think Weeded Out is me trying to be cool; it's me modulating my sound to fit the vibe of the weed scene, and trying to capture the experience of being stoned. 🤠 Whether those outside the scene think that's cool .. who cares? I think they're the ones trying too hard to be cool imo. The weed scene is cool now, but I doubt it was back in Gary's day. 🤔

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My music evolved. I could never have written my concerto as the old me: coming out freed me to write the music I felt, and my real emotions (rather than borrowing emotions as composers are wont to do). Portrait of a Knight was my real emotions too, which is why it surprised people. But those were my feelings when I was 21, and I'm nearly 29 now. It's funny that I'm writing teenagers; I connected with the anger of Kiwi youth, and I guess I wanted to exorcise some demons about my high school and uni days - Pan's Preludes was definitely designed with that in mind. Of course, I'm also writing MP's and journos etc. .. I think the clue that it's a life-sized movie is that everyone can guess who I'm basing my characters off. - Yeah, I still see it as a concerto rather than a symphony. It's a minor quibble; I think the guitar is very central, and that's a 'concerto' imo. The technical definition is in the title: a set of Preludes for guitar and orchestra. - And I am trans, not gay. I'm not really into boning or being boned by dudes, and that's the definition of homosexual. I feel like a woman. That's my thing. I find some men attractive, I like trans and I like women. Those who want me to 'be gay' are the ones who have ticked me off, and that's why I'm not doing the Tina story. That's something they can do for themselves given how they've treated me. 😒