brain droppings 20.04.23

Well, I just had another total meltdown (I recorded a tape, for those who want to hear me scream). I will never do it re: Tina. Stop asking, and stop insinuating that undergrad me was a nice guy.

No, I wasn't. Everyone hated me then, and everyone hates me now (but loves my music). I'm not a likeable person. Well, I have a few friends, but they're all other freaks and weirdos that the mainstream arts scene shits on. -

You need to let me say no. That needs to be respected.

I'm not bending. I'm not doing it. Just stop asking me. Stop pressuring me.

Stop everything but Shipwrecked. That's my goal for this year - finish Shipwrecked. That's what keeps me alive: the idea that I might make that musical, not some lame ripoff of Once or Top 5. There's no analogy that can persuade me.

-

I am not listening to Steve Barr's suggestions. I've hated ALL of the notes, and they didn't sign me.

They forgot. They thought I wouldn't take jail time. But honestly, I would over the drugs. I can still finish Shipwrecked in jail. 👍 I think my room has been astoundingly productive, and that's partly because I could mostly listen to myself and I'm as critical about my own material as I am about any of my competitors. If I ever decided to do the Tina program, I'd do it in another city so that I can avoid those people. It'd work in Auckland too, and maybe I can persuade Max or one of the other queens to play Tina. The book is my first priority for that, though. - As for the Chloe stuff - well, she seems ok with it (and me). She's not the only politician I use in my material, but yes I have a huge crush on her. It's like Ken Levine's blog and the Natalie Wood photos; that's how I see it. -

It's not because I'm sober that I'm singing well - it's just easier to hit the high notes in an American accent. That's why the NZ accent is weak: I think of my experiments as me trying to design an NZ accent that can sing opera. 👩

I'm not even the originator, which was Fred Dagg, but I'm the one taking it to the classical realm. Oh, plus I took an acid tab, and that's probably why too.

I was in a really good mood until that bullshit .. I'm not interested in acting, B. I'm not interested in Tina as an acting challenge. - I don't care what you lot think re: James and Cass (who have never really met me) -- I can read people very well; people had trouble reading me, and you just took the cops side rather than my side. Looking over my shoulder and giving notes doesn't entitle anyone to ownership of the Tina story. Seriously - if this was the States, I'd have registered the script with the WGA, who would defend me on this point. 👍