another rant

We need to stop having this discussion.

There is nothing you can do. You need to accept I have said no.

I will NOT play Tina. Not Tanya. Not anyone. I will NOT do it.

It's not about fear. It's about 'this is a giant waste of time and energy, and Shipwrecked is a better musical'

I will NEVER play Tina. I will NEVER sell.

I need that to be respected. My rights, my script. My choice.

And I choose no.

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No, you can't have my songs. You can't.

They are NOT for that story. I will NOT make these changes.

You will accept I have said no.

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Nope means NEVER. I will NEVER let you make this.

I own the script. You lot didn't pay me. It's mine.

That means I get to say no.

I will not. I'm not doing it. I don't care. Not doing it. NEVER.

NEVER. Not doing it.

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What I'm saying is I will not sell if these are the conditions.

I'd rather not sell weed. I'm simply not doing that.

Particularly I'll never sell to red scare. No means no.

I'm not interested in dealing for my artsy arsehole enemies.

I have said no. -

I'd prefer to maintain full ownership of the Dakumentary if the TVNZ people 'require' me to explain myself.

I'm simply not doing that. Amanda is a trannie, and that's obvious.

People can make their own inferences/judgments about that, and I don't give a shit.

This is my point, Steve Barr: I'm actually not like you people at all. I'd rather maintain control than make money.

That's how serious I take my career. And your pitch sucked balls, so I refuse to sell. -

I'd rather make Shipwrecked, and that's final.

Now stop trying to ruin my sleep and let me chill for real.

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No, it's not happening. I refuse to take part. I refuse to act.

I get to refuse. That's my prerogative. I've said no, now be kind and let me weasel out.

No, I'm telling Shipwrecked. I get to. Nobody owns my scripts, and nobody owns me.

So I'd rather go to jail and finish shipwrecked than do Tina. That's for real.

That's how much I refuse to work with the pricks who called me a pervert and a freak.

I will NOT blend. I will not. I'm making Shipwrecked.

Stop trying to force me to tell the other story. My songs, I get to choose which story I wish to tell with my songs.

I'm telling shipwrecked. That's my choice. I get to make that choice.

It's my baby. They're my songs. I choose Shipwrecked.

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Stop insulting me. I'm a fucking good sight-reader.

That's why my tapes were interesting.

I'm not interested in making tina real. I refuse, in fact.

I simply will NOT make it. No deal, I'd rather do time.

I'm not kidding. I'd rather do jail than make it, and let me choose jail.

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Yeah, I wish I could find that one where I walked down the Central Park steps, but it's probably on the other computer.

The fact that the pros don't understand my new songs is a sign that I'm on the right track.

People were totally baffled by Portrait and the cycle when I was writing those.

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And I'm not chopping my dick off. I like masturbating, and if this has proven anything it's that my wanks aren't a way of controlling me -- I only choose the shit I agree with, and I vehemently protest the rest.

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There's no way to make me take the deal. I refuse to take it, and that's final.

now, stop trying to butter me up or insult me and start writing me real letters that involve buying my material.

Or piss off and let me produce what I want without your help.

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I will NEVER take the deal.

No means no.

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Does Chloe really watch me all night?

Seriously -- I'm not interested in selling my TV show, so please tell the pros to back off.

And the uni. And everyone else who forgot to pay me a cent while spying over my shoulder.

Their ideas about the show pissed me off. It's simply an impasse: their suggestions are untenable and that means no deal -- it's not fun to say no to $1 million, but it's my decision.

I get to say that. That's why I established that I had sole ownership.

They wish they owned me, but I'm not consenting. There's no deal for me that could ever be acceptable.

I want every one of my Shipwrecked songs to be used for Shipwrecked. -

And I refuse to re-cast Jo as myself. I say wait until you hear a real woman.

Not me -- a real alto/mezzo.

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I'll talk to Mum tomorrow about whether I should cancel the movie night.

I'm really crushed that nobody wants to come. Well, a handful of people, but only 2 confirmations.

This is what I mean. Seriously - I'm not popular; people invent excuses not to socialise with me.

Then they call me the crazy loner. I think that's a load of hooey from the blob. -

People just like my music and jizzing to my images: they're not very into me.

This is why I tend to direct with someone else when I direct: I'm not able to control the whole set myself.

Some people have a producer who controls the set, but it really depends.

Personally, I really like the social part of producing, but I'm shit at the business side.

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I'm happy that the Dakumentary is a success as an underground film, but I'm just saying no to the sale.

Ultimately, the Film Commission and TVNZ have pissed me off beyond where I draw the line.

I think they were greedy and overly insistent with the feedback, and trying to steal my songs was a step too far.

I'm sure I can figure out this Shipwrecked thing without them.

I define success differently. That's why I'm proud of the Transtasia.

I think that was brilliant, and I'm not really so keen on the bullshit ideas about Tina.

I'd rather make another cheap movie without any fucking pros telling me what to do.

As if they could shoot my footage... yeah, right.

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I can't shake the depressed mood. But I'm not promising to behave for anyone.

I'm simply not interested in what people have to say unless they have the balls to say it to my face.

I don't want to perform with Barbara, and Barbara should accept that.

I don't think she can act. I don't see the point of the script. -

And again, another reason why I'm saying no is all the 'autism' crap.

That shit really pissed me off. I'm not autistic, I'm just introverted.

And people like to mock me. Which is why I refuse -- this is bullying, and throwing peanuts at the circus freak.

That's how I feel about this whole Truman Show bs.

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Not making the tina show. NEVER doing it. STOP asking me and accept that I have said no.

That is the end of it. And I'd love my captors to accept responsibility for several of my hospitalisations.

While I'm simply not accepting responsibility for the riots. I question whether there is a causal chain -- while I was writing the script, I didn't publish any of it publicly until after the occupation, so I dunno how anyone could have read it. People liked the Shipwrecked song, and they like the Shipwrecked script: so what's the problem with me investing 100% of my energy into the Shipwrecked musical? -

I think it's just people who are narrow-minded choosing to blame me for my brother's film.

I did not tell him to make it. I wasn't involved with the occupation in any way.

I did not go there. I said it was a bad idea, and I refuse to give up weed.

I refuse, and frankly you've all exploited me as much or more than the weed guys.

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And stop 'heing' me. That's not helping anyone.

I won't do one episode. I won't do one scene. I won't do anything from that script.

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And if it takes ducking the newspapers and the social feeds for a few months to ensure my no is respected, I will.

I'm publishing the book, even if I make it myself.

I'm making the book, then those who wish to adapt the book can buy it off me. 👍