Amanda vs. Goliath

Let's be blunt, I'm not punching down at anyone. I'm punching up. Yes, I might have a few famous friends and a certain degree of notoriety, but I'm still essentially a broke-ass dole bludger with an inheritance. I don't have a salaried position, I don't own property (other than intellectual property), and I don't have any social standing whatsoever because I've become very reclusive. To be fair, Carmen went through reclusive phases too. It's a trannie thing. - My Ads were effective, despite spending pennies on the dollar compared to the pollies or my arts friends with marketing gigs. That's why I showed you how little I spend. If you want me to have more money, then buy my albums and buy my films. https://vimeo.com/ondemand/poak https://riddellproductions.bandcamp.com/ https://amandariddell.bandcamp.com/ - To FTAC, VUW, NZSO, Wellington Council and other enemies: You can tell me that my Tina script is 'on' and I need to 'get ready', but I've decided that I refuse your treatment offer and that's a valid decision. I discussed my Māori language course with my mental health team; Camilla and Stu were quite encouraging of me doing that, and they had no issues with me refusing to study with VUW or the NZSM. I have found the way that you have treated me insulting, demeaning and I honestly wonder whether it's illegal. The intense pressure I have felt to detransition has been absolute and utter bullshit. Read my short stories and the start of my novella: that's way better than my script. I refuse to perform Pan's Preludes or do some lame pops gig. No means no. You're still treating me like a problem child or a second-rater. I can smell your condescencion and that's why I keep saying no. - The Wellington Police department has never spoken with me about my attire. That's seriously true. I've asked -- I'm not under investigation.

It may not be socially acceptable, but it is 100% legally acceptable to crossdress, and I expect she pronouns from everyone that wants me to attend things. If you try to force me to wear men's clothes, I will scream and I will become suicidal. I think you know that by now, so please stop trying to make me Michael again. I don't want to be that, and you didn't like me as Michael either. I was creepy and obsessive then, and I'm apparently creepy and obsessive now. I cannot overemphasise how furious I am with those who want a male-only me. I want to kill them, but I'm able to control that impulse. It's a battle, though, and if they simply gave up and accepted Amanda the trannie that likes to smoke weed, take psychedelics and write really good scripts, stories and music, then perhaps we might be able to find some common ground. - Seriously. Stop telling me 'I must' -- that's coercion. No Tina, no trans series; I said no. You're simply trying to get me to ignore my IP rights (while putting yourselves above me).

I'm not doing it because Barbara wants a juicy role or Cass wants to rewrite me. They need to meet with me one-on-one if they want those kind of things. Perhaps, given neither of them has even written me an email, they might do that. This isn't fucking Joss Whedon: there's no 'I can't be alone in a room with him' a) that would be misgendering me. b) if you can't handle that, then I'm not going to work with you. c) what if I was to say that I don't want to be alone in a room with my tormentors?

That's how I feel about the Wellington arts scene. You mocked me behind my back for the last decade, and now you want me to 'own' my script because it made you feel, even though I'm a cold, sarcastic dick that you thought had no feelings. I'm deeply empathetic and that's why the script is empathetic, but you've treated me like a child and I feel like this has been a massively unfair fight. I'm not stalking you 24/7... I'm writing a book. I cannot overemphasise that no means no and I'm not practicing. That's my decision, and I will not be persuaded. Meet with me, or leave me alone. That's fair.

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After all that detransition noise, I'm not willing to listen to your ideas, dickheads. Apologise for telling me to be a man, or fuck off forever. I don't want my Field of Dreams moment. I said no, and I'm writing a book. If the old pros want in, then do my 2030 musical.