About the $1 million

So, my delusion is that the Film Commission wants to be in the Amanda business. However, if this were true, then I get to say which projects I'm interested in. Regarding Weeded Out: the movie, the obvious thing to point out is I'm broke, but I'm still saying no because I think it's a genuinely bad idea.

As I say, everyone else has no stake in the quality of the film due to this whole 'police want me to take a deal' bullshit; it's only my problem if it sucks, while they'd all get paid regardless .. which is what turned me off the whole idea. If the film sucked, it'd kill my career flat. That's what happens to most NZ directors when they encounter the Commission -- they get one chance, then that's it. They have no idea whether I could handle a feature, so my idea about my shorts is much more practical. I don't want to get paid to play myself. It's simply untenable, and that is why I have refused for a long time. It's been 5-6 months of this pressure, and I haven't budged. I'm simply not wasting my energy on this idea, and it is a waste of my time to be debating this with people who are too afraid to make a real offer. I don't want to 'make Amanda real' -- Amanda is plenty real: you're just too afraid to spend time with me. That's why I only ever say no. - I also don't want to take the deal because I'm not ashamed of the negative things I said about my peers; I'd say those things sober too, and have on many occasions, both before and after the weed saga. Nobody likes me because my words cut like a knife. That's why I'm a good critic.

It's my brand on the line and that's why I'm saying no. I simply do not have the energy or desire to waste 2-3 years on that story; that is how long I would be spending on it, as I'd be the one having to do the edit, supervise the post process and all that shit. I'm saying no because I don't want to look at my face on a screen for 3 years. That's a valid reason to say no. -

So, either I write another script, or you decide to let me film my short stories.

I'm not dying to do that, but I'm confident I could pull those off, and that the Film Commission loves short films. It'd be cheaper and healthier for all concerned.👍