Why I postponed my screening of the Dakumentary.

Yes, I know Mark's loaded and I was planning to invite him, but I think he likes me because I don't hit him up for money all the time.

I hadn't thought out the finances -- I thought Gary had covered the catering costs through the tickets, but he underwrote some of that too. Plus the drugs .. I lost Dakta's number, but I still could've sussed the buds. -

I genuinely thought 20 people might come, but it's an hour's drive. So May 2 is out, but maybe later... I do want to watch it with an audience.

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I see my drug addiction as a totally separate issue to my professional career as a composer. And, fair enough, I reckon a lot of my friends with money would

be worried that I'd use it on drugs.

So yeah, rich friends like Emanuel, Mark, Barbie, probably Lauren too, and Chloe if she's a friend, are nice to have, but I really hate asking for money.

And I don't feel comfortable housesitting the way Natalie used to: I don't like being in rich people's houses -- I feel out-of-place. I'm not so into obsessive cleanliness, while rich people tend to have that obsession.

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My alcoholism, however, is directly tied to my professional career. I wouldn't drink if it wasn't so useful for coming up with songs.

I like the RNZ gig because when I get shifts it tends to pare my drinking back to a more reasonable level. Plus I've got low tolerance for booze -- 9 or 10 standard drinks is about my limit, while I've taken some heroic doses of weed/psychedelics. It makes me emotional, and that's what it takes to write poetry lol