triggered rant

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Look, despite how people may interpret the songs, I do not want Jake back.

I hope he's dead.

Parking a VUW car isn't going to make me move or do an MA.

I've said no. It's my principles: I don't want VUW to own any percentage of any of my films.

That's my business side. That's what I think about.

I have an axe to grind about the whole system re: classical music.

That's why I'm an outsider.

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If you try and force me to act, I will rebel.

I don't care what you think, Cass. It's no from me to you.

You just want a baritone. That's insulting and that's why I've said no.

I have far greater artistic freedom as a soloist, and that's why I do it my way. I bet Rodger would let me do the gig in a dress. 🐸

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Also, I don't want a tenure track. Why would you presume that 2023 me thinks the things that 2020 me thought?

I've grown up and I've evolved. I'd rather be Amanda than be anything else.

And I don't want a documentary made about me. I'm not really keen to be the subject of a documentary.

I prefer the air of mystery. That's part of the virtuosa shtick.

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I don't care if you prefer the guy me. I've said no. And no. And no.

I refuse to detransition. I refuse to stop being myself.

This is why I'm not a happy person. Every day they try the same shit, and that infuriates me .. the police should have bloody interviewed me rather than lying to me about whether I was under investigation or not.

I reckon the cops are corrupt. That's my baggage from my Patū. - My twin is the one facing charges, though: he allegedly assaulted a flattie. He has a pattern... though he says he's innocent. I wish I could stay in respite for a few days. I think that'd be good for me, health-wise. The food would be healthy, and I'm probably malnourished. We tried that when I was at the hospital after the Big Smoke. Apparently I wasn't severe enough to be admitted... I'm saner now than I was then. But I'm definitely finding it difficult to break my pattern while I'm in my room. - I've fantasised about moving to rural NZ .. I nearly rented a shack in Wairarapa after we filmed Portrait of a Knight. If I was rich, that's where I'd prepare my guitar album. -

It's insulting to me that people misgender me. That's not helping, and this is how I deal with that.

For the affluent readers, I'm sure my blog is a tragedy, but for me it's genuinely fun.

I enjoy writing. I have hated being famous. 🐸