To my friends that work for VUW

Heed my cease and desist letter. I'm not returning, and I'm not filled with liberal guilt that I'm getting paid a good salary for an institution that is, at best, a mixed bag. Here's how it feels to me: VUW wants me to save their bacon with a glitzy PR campaign masquerading as a feature film, while ignoring the $50,000 of debt that I built up studying a craft that they weren't highly supportive of. Though I'm still willing to offer my script for that $50,000, I'd rather not sell to VUW, who have clearly prioritised profitability over the programs that created Bret, Jemaine, Taika and my generation. - They're cutting English down to the bone, alongside Music, Theatre, Italian, German and a bunch of other liberal arts courses. How could I possibly make a film for you lot (for free, while getting credit for a course)? Absolute and utter nonsense. I wasn't enrolled at VUW when I wrote that screenplay, and VUW (presuming I am being stalked by them) only wants it as a PR ploy to cover for the dozens if not hundreds of jobs that they're planning to cut. By 2026, they might actually close down the NZ School of Music. I'd rather they did, so that all those privileged sods can spend some time living on my income and learn that their privilege isn't inherent, and nobody cares about classical music in Aotearoa. - As for my screenplay: well, I'm the new breed of writer. I've got business sense, and I've got enough independent wealth to say no to the Film Commission. In America, people pay cash money for first drafts. That should also be true in NZ, hence my insistence. I'm trying to rebuild the paradigm so that young IP owners can't be pushed around because we only have one film funding body.

I want to incentivise private investment in NZ cinema, as that's how every other country (except America) functions: with a mix of state funding and favourable tax breaks that incentivise people to invest in local movies. And if the Film Commission doesn't like 2030 Shipwrecked, they can go fuck themselves. I think my second reading was a winner, and that means that we're going to the next step, which is my concept album with a band and real singers. - As for the theatre people: I've got an opera idea, but I'm not singing any roles. I refuse to sing with you, Red Scare. That's my decision; I get to make it, and they get to put up with my decision not to align with them, much like Chloe can put up with my decision not to join her party. I like being independent, and that's because working 'with censors' isn't helpful, though my AI cartoons benefit from my attempts to annoy Luxon without being liable. If I'd had to work with censors, These Words Are Meant For Someone wouldn't exist. - If you're wondering, the opera is a sex romp and the big number is a woman singing about how she thirsts for the penis of a young man, with extremely graphic details. That's what I want to write about, and NZ Opera has been doing nudity on-stage for as long as I've been based in Wellington.

I should be allowed to say no to Tina, do my concept album, and sell that Tina script to all those Wellingtonians that wish that they'd come up with that idea. That's fair and legal, and paying me will allow me to fund that concept album. I recommend that everyone simply waits 6 months until my book is finished, and then they can negotiate for Just Like Yesterday or the short stories that I've written. - So, please be patient, and stop pressuring me to return. I mean it: cease and desist with enticements and threats about how wonderful another year at VUW could be. 🤬 I refuse to attend; Gary supports me, and told me not to affiliate with the uni following those announcements about the arts programmes. So to Salina, Michelle, Alan and others: meet me anywhere but the campus, and we can be friends, but if you attempt to cajole me into returning, I'll get angry and ignore you.