Acid Journal 19.4.23-20.4.23

100mg dose. Sirens are freaking me out.

The walk home was pleasant. The trip peaked during dakta vs. cops, and kept up until my new audio tapes.

Very existential. Weighty themes about assimilation and settler vs. indigenous culture, lots of Indian ideas (obviously).

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I'm fairly sure the guy I was thinking of while I peaked is Pakistani, although that's a guess.

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Yes, I thought about the handclaps piece. I'll put it back later.

- Look, ultimately anal isn't for me. And I'd know

.. seriously, I've been in the room with dildos and I'm not wasting half a day on douching.

It's fine to grind on me, but that's only for women. I'm primarily into butch dykes, and see myself as a male lesbian.

I think some dudes are hot, but I'm phobic about touching people. I've been beaten up too many times, so being overly fresh isn't a good idea (ask Meesh lol).

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Film notes:

Yeah, I realised it wasn't over yet. I think that's a better flow into the second half.

I'll probably cut the May 2 screening down so it ends after the Botans.

So yeah, I think the symbolic gesture re: sounds of silence is enough. Dakta shot some video of me at the carmen crossing, I think; he definitely took a better picture than any of the current ones.

Otherwise, I think the point is made without the images re: carmen crossing. Everyone knows that I protested there (twice).

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Look, I don't know if Tea For Two is better or not.

I think The Gal That Got Away is a better recording.

As for the Tina series - I'm not keen. Gary put it well .. we've shot enough film.

Turning it into prose will be the hard part. That'll allow more interior stuff.

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This has been was a good trip. Very glad Gary hooked me up with that.

You know, I realise you're a normalish person, Chloe, but honestly all this jail time has made me very shy.

Virtual jail, but it still sucks having my every move monitored; you opted into this when you became an MP, while I only started having the fuzz watch me when I became an activist.

And nobody thought to bring that up with me… or at least, not directly… I don't think it was until the club had been open for several months that I thought much about that.

Because over the summer and the Daktory Wellington launch I was hanging out with Gary while he was bitching about Dakta. I didn't attend the Hania St. opening, but Doug and Gary came to Wallace St. to chill and have some DMT (I think... that might have been another day).

All this time I've spent defending myself makes it hard for me to come up and say hi when you're around. I know you want me to, but I'm just shy.

Tbh I was sort-of hoping you'd turn up one day when I had my guitar and come over to me. I mean, if you were at J Day last year then we could have spoken.

Stephen wondered why you didn't come over… 👍

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As for other celebrity fans - yes, I want to meet Rose Matafeo and Alice Snedden.

But IRL, rather than to talk about a project. I'd rather swap war stories.

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As for Alexandra: hey, I tried to reach out and you ignored my friend request.

Probably due to the stage name… I think the name change threw a few people - ie Ken added me after I wrote.

I tried Ingrid several times, and even wrote her an email.

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I don't want to be on Broadway, but if Linklater really wants me for Merrily, then I'd love to discuss it.

I recorded a tape recently that had some of my main qualms.

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I like THC, and it helped me party with myself while Wellington tried to have me arrested for being a trannie.

I'm enjoying the CBD too. It's a horses for courses approach, and that's why legal recreational weed is the way forward.